Garden Pooper

Someone is pooping in my garden! I want to blame the dog down the street. I often see him walking around loose. We also have some outdoor cats in the neighborhood. I am no scatologist, so I have no idea how to determine what species the culprit is, but I'm pretty steamed about it! The problem is that with poop come flies! I took my morning garden walk and inspection and swear there were about 200 flies swarming around a nice pile of poop. I scooped it up and called for the flies to follow me to the trash, but they didn't. They instead resettled on the nearby fence rail like a flock of crows, just watching me and waiting for me to leave so that they could lure the pooper back to my yard for some more goodies! They are definitely in cahoots! I just know it! They will not get the best of me though! I am the master of my domain and I will deal block the problem pooper with a nice bit of chicken wire around the bed. Of course, a cat could climb or jump over the four foot high wire, but if she is willing to make that much of an effort, she really deserves the right to poop in my garden!

Please note my love for you, the reader, in that I resisted including any images of the offenses in this post. Who loves ya, baby?

Composting is not for the Faint of Heart -or- Was that a Mouse in My Compost Bin?

I was so enjoying working in my yard yesterday. The day was beautiful: sunny, warm enough for shorts and a t-shirt, but cool enough to still work outside. My compost bin did it's duty through the Rochester winter and was now ready to provide me with a good amount of rich wonderful compost. So, I was turning the pile in the bin to access the finished compost and I do believe I saw a mouse! I screamed bloody murder and leapt away from the bin. Rita, my savior and go-to gal for anything I cannot handle in the yard was not home, so I went to beg my other next door neighbor to come help me. I just wanted him to take out the pitch fork and close the lid so that I could pretend I didn't encounter a mouse. He graciously did so and I spent the rest of the afternoon convincing myself that I hadn't really seen a mouse - it was really a leaf that moved as I was turning the compost and from the corner of my eye it LOOKED like a mouse. Oh, how I really want to think that it was a leaf! Then, this morning, I made the mistake of googling it to see if there was any possibility that a mouse could be in my compost bin. BIG mistake!! Story after story of people finding mice in their bins, of people who understood going into it that mice would be something they could expect. It makes me dizzy just thinking about it! I can deal with a lot of things, but not that and I really have no idea what I can do about it! I need to find someone to take care of this for me - this is truly above and beyond my capabilities and tolerances! You know what would be ideal? If I could use one of the Enterprise's transporters to beam the whole mess - mice and all - out into space!

The Culprit

Well, I have always been one to admit when I am wrong. I have been wrong to condemn the bunnies and squirrels. It was not they who were eating all my tomatoes, oh no! It was a groundhog - and I always thought they were so cute! Unfortunately, ground hogs are quite large and, when they are standing up, are able to reach at least midway up my tomato plants. So, the generosity I have displayed in "letting" what I thought were bunnies and squirrels eat the fruit on the bottom of the plants with the knowledge that they wouldn't be able to reach the higher fruits is now moot! The friendly neighborhood groundhog can reach whatever fruits she wants! I will say that when I saw that groundhog plucking up my tomatoes, I had to bowdlerize my mind before being able to generate the family-friendly text of this post. Tomato-stealing groundhogs certainly bring out the worst in me!!

Bug Attack

I have made it plain over the past few weeks that squirrels and bunnies are not my friends. I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned my long-standing antagonists: bugs. Now, I haven't minded them much in the garden - they have a purpose and, plus, that is their domain. I believe that if I leave them alone in their world, they will leave me alone in mine. Well, on my way happily to work this morning, (and it was indeed happily: I stayed up late working on my commission, which was a joyful way to spend the evening, and sold three more items straight off the showroom floor!) a bug attacked my car. Now it wouldn't have been that big a deal as I was inside the car with all the windows shut tight and he was outside the car, but he was clinging to my driver's side mirror right on the other side of the window from me. He was huge, too! He stubbornly clung to the mirror and kept staring at me through the window. Then, when I pulled into the parking lot (after having barely made it to work alive because I was driving so distractedly!) he started cleaning his antennae maliciously and gazing at me in a furtive manner, as though he were preparing to attack me the minute I got out of the car! So, really, when you think about it, he was holding me hostage inside the car, right? Well, I took a series of deep breaths, steeled myself, braved up, and climbed over the seat to get out on the passenger side of the car! No bug is going to get the better of me!