As many of you know, I had my first show today since having Zoe. It was wonderful and I plan on writing all about it but I really must devote this post to the trip there.
Michele and I have two cars: my car, an automatic, in which Zoe's car seat resides; and Michele's car, a very cute, zippy orange standard transmission car. Well, to avoid moving Zoe's seat to Michele's car or forcing Zoe and Michele to drive with me to the show this morning, or leaving Michele without a Zoe-friendly car, I had the great idea that I would take Michele's car to the show. You may recall my post a few weeks ago about the things I cannot do. Drive stick is one of them.
So, I took the car out practicing yesterday. I actually did really well backing and driving and fairly well getting started from a stop. I very confidently believed I'd be fine today.
I was wrong. Very very wrong. I never want to even look at that car again. It was the most terrifying experience of my life!
The one thing missing from my practice run was hills. Hills. HILLS!!!!!! How one is expected to start from a stopped position on a hill is beyond me. At one point, I sat through four green lights trying to work up the courage to try to start driving on a hill. At the third time a cop was sitting at the red light on the cross street staring at me. That was actually nice. Took my mind off my imminent demise to hope that I'd be arrested and someone else would get Michele's car off that hill. Unfortunately, he just drove on. I guess it's not illegal to sit through green lights yelling crazy things at yourself.
I did finally risk it and actually made it off the hill and to the show and then I begged my friend Randy to park the car for me. And thankfully Michele and Zoe came to the show and we traded cars.
Had you been a fly on the dashboard you may have heard some interesting things like:
Holy crap! Why am I going backwards?!?
Dear God, I hope that's 4th gear!
Ok, Ok, that time it was the car's fault not mine. I'm sure there's something wrong with this car.
Hmm, it doesn't sound like that when Michele drives it.
Oh well, I'm just staying in 2nd.
Oh my God, oh my God please don't stop behind me on this hill.
Please arrest me. I'm a danger to society. Or at least get me off this hill!!
And my mantra at every stop sign and red light: Michele cannot come rescue me. I must clutch effectively.
At one point I begged God to just keep every light green - it didn't happen!
I know that with practice I could do this but I cannot imagine anything worse than getting in that car again. I don't even want to be a passenger. And something tells me that Michele will keep her keys out of my reach for quite a while. I don't imagine that I broke anything but I certainly gave that little beastie a workout!